MakeSomethingDamnit

Sewing mega-project.

2011-03-09T05:48:00.000-08:00

For the last few months, 'hobby hour' has been relentlessly filled with a MEGA sewing project I've been working on. I don't want to give the game away completely, but I will say this is, without a doubt, the biggest thing I've ever sown. More details soon...

Screen printing week 3

2011-03-09T05:21:00.001-08:00

Word on the street was that we'd be doing four-colour separations this week. So I asked my photographer friend at work aka 'the amazing Carole; aka 'CXE78' if she had any images she'd like me to print up. I had a snoop around her flickr and this pic of a Yayoi Kusama sculpture from her trip to Japan last year. Love it!

But then when I got to the class, it turned out there wasn't time to print our own personal four-colour separations (booo). But we did learn do half-tones, so I printed it as one of those. I was REALLY happy with how it turned out.

And Carole really like it too. I gave her one of the prints, and she didn't even do that thing where you say 'ooooooh', then put it under your bed for seven years. No! She took it straight to the framers, and look at it now! What an awesome, humbling compliment.

Oh, and we did do a four-colour separation in the end. But we didn't get to choose our own images. And as it turns out, they look reeeeeeally tacky. So I didn't take one home.

Screen printing week 2

2011-03-09T05:09:00.000-08:00

After a week of the basics, we moved swiftly on to two colour prints. Which is waaay more fun. I really like mine too. It started as a fluoro-green print of the animal silhouettes. Then I scratched into the original acetate to make the details and printed a black layer of the top. Bit difficult to photograph, but really satisfying.

Screen printing Week 1

2011-03-09T05:05:00.000-08:00

After much screen printing assisting, I decided to take control of squeegie and start printing things myself. Problem is, I don't really know how to do it. So I've enrolled in a three week course at a place up the road.

Here's what we did on week one: stencils. Probably not going to make it to the wall of fame, but quite fun to do!

Then we coated screens and fooled around with one-colour printing. Again, pretty basic. But again, fun!

And the winner is....

2011-02-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

After a whole year of being totally amazing and awesome, Pig Pen had their annual awards ceremony in December. So my good friend Ben (who runs the night) asked me to make one of the trophies.

Thinking about it, I noticed that whenever men win something, they get big, shiny (but ugly) permanent memorials - like trophies and cups. But if women win something, they get a bunch of flowers - which (although beautiful) are ephemeral and disposable. **Cue outrage at gender politics**

So I wanted to make a traditional trophy, but mix things up a little by creating it out of flowers. The process was fantastically epic, but the final result wasn't exactly how I was expecting. So let me take you back through the mists of time...

...to the very beginning.

After I did the boring glueing and drilling bits to get the frame sorted, I started carving the Oasis (which is florists foam). If you've never done that before, go out and get some immediately. It's so satisfying, and a sharp knife goes through it like butter. Actually, it's easier than butter. It's so therapeutic. I could go on all day about it. Honestly. But....

Pretty soon, I had the main shape - minus the handles (which were super-70s floral ones from eBay).

I kind of ran out of time, so I had to put the handles on at the club. Which I did. And I was getting really excited about how it would look with the flowers on it.

The flowers go on - still looking good.

Oh.

When it was covered in blooms, it kind of turned into a shapeless, slightly creepy beast. Ha! I like that it seems quite alive though. So that's good (if unexpected).

Learning for next time: make the shape much skinnier. Or make the object much bigger. It's a really nice effect though, so I'd definitely be up for doing something like this again. Perhaps as props or wearable accessories for a photoshoot. Anyone want to commission me?

Nice pair.

2011-02-07T08:50:00.001-08:00

After a posting drought, I've got a flurry of projects I've been saving up for this VERY MOMENT. Actually, I'll come clean. I've just been a bit lazy. But I digress!

So, two Christmases ago, I took on the challenge of re-upholstering a chair we had knocking around. I'd never upholstered anything before, so it was a very steep learning curve (translation = I had a tantrum, and swore I'd never attempt it again). But a year later, I'd forgotten all that and got stuck in reupholstering its twin over the Christmas break. And the super-depressing fabric that was on there before looked like rejected prop from Abigail's Party, so I really had no choice.

I began by rigging up a mad-professor/carpenter fetish rig to fix the frame and make it sturdy again.

Then I made the cover and started nailing it on. Last time I did this, I hammered in the nails all the way. And then the other half of the cover didn't fit properly (hence, the tantrum). Thankfully, I remembered to NEVER DO THAT EVER AGAIN, so it was fine this time.

I didn't want to enter the OCD nightmare of trying to get the two chairs to match exactly, so instead they're kind of the positive and negative of each other. Which looks great I think!

Posh googly eyes.

2010-11-14T10:06:00.000-08:00

I noticed the other day that the top right-hand corner of the eBay homepage has a ticker counting down the days to Christmas (41, btw). Which means Christmas is nearly upon us...kind of. But for me, the Christmas shopping panic starts a little earlier than for most people. The reason being that my Dad's birthday is at the start of December, so it makes sense to buy all the presents and send them all in one swoop. Ie, RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!

Anyway, when I was in New York I bought one of my favourite things ever - an eyeball stamp. I love it! So for this year's presents, I rolled out the lining paper and got stamping. Which was hugely satisfying for the pedantic/neurotic side of my personality. Anyway, without further ado - here are some nice pictures.

Plus, for added neurosis, I cunningly concealed the name labels among the pattern.

Awww.

Ice Cube! (As in the rapper. And actual ice cubes. Does that count as a pun?)

2010-10-20T04:19:00.000-07:00

New York is HOT in September. Clammy, shirt-sticking-to-your-back, unattractive damp armpits hot. And I love it! Which is why I decided to flee the creeping London autumn and spend a week sweating it out in NYC with my friend Paul (who is awesome).

Paul is one of my favourite collaborators EVER. And together, we devised some ice-jewellery to combat the Manhattan swelter.

(Moulding clay by Nearby Art Shop. Water by New York Tap. Fridge by Paulie and Andrew.)

Icy knuckle duster.

Iced out. Oh yeah!

I miss New York. I miss summer. Waaaaaah!

Cufflink EMERGENCY!!!!!!

2010-10-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

Not a common emergency. And debatably, not an actual emergency in normal life. But when you're in rural Poland for a wedding, and half an hour before the ceremony your other half realises the left their cufflinks at home, and their shirt won't actually work without them,the situation can quickly turn ugly.

Anyway, after unsuccessfully scouring the hotel for a spare pair. I scoured our room for something that might work. Luckily, I was wearing a vintage blazer, and the previous owner had left some black and white ribbon in the pocket, which instantly transformed me into a bridal MacGuyver.

The original ribbon. Without any scissors or sharp objects of any kind in our luggage (thanks, Ryan Air), I used a cigarette lighter to burn the long bit in the middle and make two pieces.

Carefully knot one end....

And then knot the other (with varying degrees of success - it's quite a bit harder than it looks!).

And crisis averted!

This particular drama was actually swiftly followed by the classic pre-wedding 'I-can't-get-my-bowtie-to-work-how-come-it-worked-before!?!?!?-emergency'. But let's not get into that one.

Into the Hourglass

2010-07-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

Posts have been a bit thin on the ground here lately. Mainly because I've been super busy with the meadow (which has been incredible) and life/work/moving flat has been getting in the way of making stuff. So to (sort of) make up for it, here are some pics of costumes I helped out on for The Hourglass Social Club. I put up sketches for this a little while back, but they haven't been made yet, so these were a kind of stop-gap. To be fair, a friend did the bulk of the actual costuming, and I chipped in by doing the styling and making some accessories: The Pickled Shopkeeper's beard, a ripped rag petticoat and bustle for the pie seller, and a sort of weird hairpiece/hat thing made from a platinum hair weave. Which sounds wrong, but looked awesome! I'll finish up the other costume bits shortly, probably. And I'll post them soon, kind of.

G is for Guerrilla

2010-05-19T08:12:00.000-07:00

Urban gardening is taking over my life a bit at the moment. So hot off the heels of the Mabley Green meadow, I did a bit of guerrilla gardening with my meadow co-conspirator Rowland, and floral-intervention celebrity Richard Reynold s. Who's really nice!

I have to say, gurerilla gardening is sooooooo much easier than permissive, inclusive gardening. From start to finish, it took two hours to seed a big strip of ground and a huge mound of rubble. And it meant we got to do fun stuff like climb 10 foot fences and scramble around on demolition sites. Though doing so gave me a gnarly, guerrilla-sized bruise on my knee.

No pics (apart from this one I took on my way home). But more to come if/when our seeds grow.

FOOD FIGHT PARTY - the big event!

2010-05-10T04:00:00.001-07:00

Not much to say really. Apart from: IT WAS AMAZING!

Food fight - the prep.

2010-05-10T03:09:00.001-07:00

After lining the front room with serial-killer-esqe plastic sheeting, the fun, making part could begin. It was a bit of a military operation really. Jelly was made on a strict schedule, pasta boiled every eight minutes, and the cake - my god, the cake - it started pretty good, but got better and better as we went on.

Filling balloons with hundreds and thousands...

Then hanging them from the ceiling (I came armed a pin on a stick...yessss)

Food colouring and mash = genius.

Piping the giant cake - which a later leapt out of to start the shenanigans.

Adding sweets and sandwiches. So amazing.

Finished! Not the party poppers (filled with hundreds and thousands) and the bowls of dark stuff at the bottom. That's jam. God bless the Cash n' Carry!

Me in my fighting whites.

The laden table - it actually got pile higher than this AND you can't see the massive buckets of pasta and tomatoes on the floor.

The room (before). Not sure if this gives a particularly good picture of it - it's one of those things that's far better when etched into your memory than seen in photos, but anyway....

Food Fight!!!!!

2010-04-23T02:18:00.000-07:00

Yes. That's right. Count those exclamation marks. They're there for a good reason - we're having a party soon for my 30th. And it's the party I've been dreaming of for years - a food fight party!(!!!!)

More details/pics will be up soon. But until then, here's the flyer. Can't wait!

The Hourglass Social Club

2010-04-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

My friend Karim's been putting on extravagant parties for a while now. But he's about to go supersonic. His latest venture is the The Hourglass Social Club - 'a time travelling odyssey through London's illustrious past' - with a fair bit of gin drinking/tomfoolery/frenzied dancing thrown in too.

He's putting a big effort into set dressing the venues and wants the nights to be a visual feast, so he asked me to do the costumes for him. Exciting!

The idea is that each event is one in a series of episodes following the adventures of three central characters: The Pickled Shopkeeper (who turned pickling and preserving into a science, making his Newington Green shop famous) and his two protogés (the Lazarus Twins, who were taken in as orphans and are now life and spirit the business). You can read about the set up here. But if you'd rather look at pictures, flex that itchy scrolling finger and take a look at my initial sketches for their outfits.

Rather than creating everything from scratch, I'm just going to concentrate on making slightly weird accessories and twist up the styling a little. Then hire/scrounge the rest. So for the shopkeeper, I'm making a long plaited beard festooned with pickled and preserved objects. Then as the twins have grown up around pickled things, my concept is that as a result, they're subconsciously and irresistably drawn to the preserved. So Max always wears some leather, and Gracie wears fur. Come along - it'll be fun!

Slave to the squeegie

2010-04-22T07:14:00.000-07:00

Audrey Roger is doing amazingly well at the moment. She's made a print for a Patternity's Tapestry of Dalston exhibition for Land of Kings, is part of Pick Me Up at Somerset House for Print Club and supermarketsarah picked asked her to make some bags and shirts to go on her concept wall in Selfridges.

Whoa. That was a lot of links.

Anyway, bags and shirts don't print themselves (sadly). So I once again donned my screenprinter's assistant apron and got stuck in at Print Club. The bags look really great, and the shirts do too. To check them out, pop into Selfridges before 28 April.

Mabley Green Meadow

2010-04-22T07:01:00.000-07:00

At the same time as pushing for the Fitzrovia meadow from a couple of posts ago, I started pushing to do another one somewhere a bit closer to home. So close in fact, that I've been staring at the area in question from my kitchen window for months thinking 'someone should really do something with that space'.

Essentially, it's a pretty big but generally neglected piece of grass between a row of houses and a motorway overpass. Nobody really uses it (apart from dog walkers who stand at the edges and usually and totally co-incidentally checking their watches/bend down to tie their shoes/looking elsewhere at the EXACT same moment their dog is doing it's nasty business). Then job done, they leave.

So it's not an area that's loved or cared for. But on a recent set of plans for the neighbourhood in general, it was designated as a 'community garden'. Nobody really knew what that meant, least of all the Council. So I leapt into action and proposed it become a wildflower meadow. And after much wrangling and hand-wringing, it's happening! Which is where most of my time and energy has been going in the last couple of months. And while it's been much more work than I thought, it's been great and I've met some lovely people.

I could have posted about the process endlessly here, because there's been a lot to make and do for it. But as it's a community project and there, doens't or shouldn't really belong to me, I've become a media mogul and made a whole new blog for it.

www.mableymeadow.blogspot.com

Take a look and let me know what you think - of it you live in Homerton or Hackney Wick, come get involved in one of our volunteering or fun days!

In the mean time, here's one of the many iterations of funding proposals we put together to get the money together to make it happen.

Fun with googly eyes. Again.

2010-04-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

Our organic box has been providing a rich seam of oddly-shaped vegetables lately. Which makes vege-box emptying (one of my most avoided chores into one of my all time favourites).

Fitzrovia Meadow

2010-04-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

OK, OK. I know it's been aaaaaages since I've put anything up on here. But I have a good reason: I've been busy. Really busy. It's been great! For some reason, rather than tiring me out, it's been making me pile more onto my plate instead. Here's what absorbed quite a bit of my time a couple of months back. It was an idea to turn the big (now derelict) lot on Mortimer St in Central London into a field of wildflowers. It's really possible to do. Though only if the developer says yes. But after much harassing and sleuthing to find the right people to talk to, they said no. Well, they didn't really - they just stopped replying. Then sold the land to another company, who's going to build a car park. All I can say is it'd better be a totally kick ass car park. Grrrrr.

Anyway, here's the proposal we made to get their attention. It had to be pretty comprehensive (hence the length). And I really wanted it to look good, so I got super into making the little photoshop illustrations at the bottom of the pages. So there are lots of little details in there - though you might not see them at blog-friendly sizes. Muchos gracias to Simon (my Art Director) for doing the design for me. I can be a pretty demanding (read: pedantic) creative director but he was very patient. Bless him.

Megan hearts Francis. Officially.

2010-01-25T02:17:00.001-08:00

Two dear, dear friends, Megan and Francis are about to get married (woohoo). But that raises the ever-tricky wedding present issue. Which is made even trickier when the bride and groom in question are social innovators and make-stuff-happen-ers, rather than simple collectors of stuff. So I wanted to make something (of course), but make something meaningful to all of us.

I've known Megan for ages, and one road trip long ago, we found ourselves staying on an amazing beach with a couple of Lomos and a strangely abundant stash of sparklers. So we spent an evening fooling around with those. One of the pics of Megan was particularly wedding-friendly. So I framed that. But I didn't have one for Francis, so I framed a sparkler for him, and the night before their wedding, got him to do his own one. Here's the 'before' pics of my gift to them. The 'afters' will be coming soon...

Surprise!

2010-01-19T09:14:00.000-08:00

My friend Sven turned 40 last weekend (woohoo), which meant he was summoned back home in Hamburg to be showered with Deutchlove (but not in a rude way). That meant I got to housesit at his flat in Old Street. After shivering away in our Hackney Wick garret for the last few months, I was so grateful for central heating I almost wept. So made a birthday card/thanks installation thing to surprise him when he got back.

It was kind of indulgent for me too. I'd wanted to do something with those foil balloons ever since that Amanda Blank video for THAT song. Anyway, it turns out the balloons are actually pretty expensive. So I scaled back my ambition to fill Sven's whole house with them and opted for the 4-0 option. Classier, right. The pics turned out kind of crappy (damn phone!), but it did actually look pretty awesome in the space. Honest. And Sven almost cried*, allegedly. Win!

*He'd been travelling for about 9 hours when he saw it, so you'll need to include a dash of deranged emotional fatigue in there. But still.

Bundles of joy

2010-01-04T08:57:00.001-08:00

By some miracle, I managed to avoid a hangover on New Year's day. Which left me with a day without any plans and a napping/groaning boyfriend confined to the couch. So I got busy making meringues. Obviously. As it turns out, three egg whites can go a long, long way. And after an hour or so I'd made piles of them. Not just figure of speech piles either. Actual piles.

I wanted to take them to a friend's place for dinner that night, but brittle cakes made mostly out of air are notoriously difficult to move around. So I packaged them up with grease paper and string. I'll admit, I got a bit theatrical with it. Still, my sugary brood survived the 236 bus. Made a well deserved entrance. And immediately were crumbled into Eton Mess.

I miss Christmas holidays. Sniff.

Christmas Project

2009-12-31T11:09:00.007-08:00

I've got a pretty reliable Christmas tradition: getting horrendously ill. Last year it was Norovirus (mmmm). This year it was a killer cold. Which scuppered my plan to finish ALL the half-started jobs been lurking around so long I was starting to feel guilty. So instead, I narrowed it down to one: rescuing a broken legged, beige infested armchair its general shabbiness.

Things I've learned about upholstering:
- Don't hammer the nails in all the way until you're sure the cover actually fits.
- 'If I just cut it a bit here, it'll be fine'. This is untrue.
- It's OK to hire a professional.

Still, it looks a million times better than before. If you don't look too close.

Office outfit

2009-12-31T11:08:00.001-08:00

Our office Christmas party was totally amazing this year. Mostly (I think) because it was organised by professionals. But equally because there were free cocktails. All night long. The theme was 'Paradise and the Underworld', aka 'Heaven and Hell' aka 'Sluts and Vicars'. But, despite that, the basque count was surprisingly low (yay). And the fun quotient really high. I get a bit reticent about costumes for work parties so me and my friend Hanisha pulled out some DIY 'voodoo' outfits the afternoon before. The facepaint and jewellery were from home. But everything else was made from stuff scrounged around the office. Is that a good thing? Or just lazy? I'm still not entirely sure.

PS: I look weird in this photo mostly because (on my dentist's strict instructions) I'd got braces the week before. So this is me trying to smile. But also trying not to show any teeth. Unsuccessfully. Hanisha looks hot though.

Hackn'een!

2009-11-04T09:53:00.001-08:00

Halloween is amazing (and a little scary). Hackney is amazing (and a little scary). Put them together and you get our Hackn'een party (which was straight up amazing). The house was filled with a wild mix of church-going African ladies, junkies, pound stores, gentrifiers - even a 38 bus! I celebrated my old Dalston days by flexing my costume muscle and going as a chalk outline. Which meant I spent a fair bit of the night lying face down on the floor. But it was worth it.

***Yes, to everyone who was actually at that party, we both know it was actually last year. But don't tell anyone.***

Visas suck

2009-10-15T02:05:00.000-07:00

The only problem with not being born in England is trying to live here when you're a grown up. Staying for a few months is easy. But after that, you have to leap through flaming hoops for nine (yes NINE) years before you get a passport to call your own.

So in the spirit of visas sucking, two sisters (one who's just had her application rejected, and another who's finally had hers accepted) held a Visas Suck Party for the last weekend they were both going to be legal residents in London. And they asked me to help out. Which, of course, I did.

The theme was 'non EU'. So we had a Columbian drug mule, a New Zealand sheep and a bit of Russian new money floating around. Alice (the sister with the visa) and I (a bona fide passport holder) were border patrol. We spent the night interrogating all the dirty foreigners arriving at the party, then stamping their invites (custom made passports) with 'ACCEPTED' or 'REJECTED' stamps. It was awesome.

No party is complete without a bit of dance-floor accessories. So we had a giant visa, complete with mug-shot hole. One side was stamped ACCEPTED - hooray!, the other side REJECTED - boooo!

Pick me! Pick me!

2009-09-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note, I've made a little album of all the different fabrics I'll be using for the dressing gowns and pajamas. They're so good! But there'll only be one or two sets made from each fabric, so if you see something you like, email me at chrisking80@gmail.com by Wednesday 23rd September and I'll make sure I get your size made. Otherwise, the sample sale invite will be gracing these pages soon. Gowns are £29, men's PJ trousers will be £16 and the women's £14. Check out the pics here. Woohoo!

Bearcraft Part V

2009-09-16T01:52:00.001-07:00

I know, I know, I should have posted this ages ago. But here's the fruits of our Bearcraft labours. Which, considering we had no money, little time and zero expertise, has turned out pretty well. Hooray for collaborations!

Pimp my paddle

2009-09-02T02:15:00.000-07:00

Berlin is so great. Summer is so great. Table tennis is so great. But my table tennis game on the outdoor tables in Berlin...not so great. So I compensated by doing some quick customisation on our bats. One side with a manly, grrrrr-inducing tasch. The other side with a set of luscious lips. Then let the in-between-hits fun commence.

Man Knitting

2009-08-17T04:48:00.003-07:00

I don't know what it's like in other places, but in London, you can't really buy anything when you actually need it. So by the time summer arrives, you can't buy swimming trunks. And in winter, all the warm coats have sold out. So I should have known better when I tried to buy a hammock in August. And when I asked in a shop, the assistant did that half-laugh/half-snort-of-disgust thing and proceeded to wearily tell the airspace just above my head that I'd NEVER find a hammock now - but perhaps I could try an outlet store on the edge of town?

To cut a long and slightly bitter story short, I wanted one because my friend Manu was having his 30th in his family's holiday home outside of Madrid. The place is completely idyllic - apart from the fact that it didn't have hammocks. And the small village nearby came up with nothing. So I took matters into my own hands and wiled away a couple of the afternoons knotting one myself. I love hammocks anyway, but this was my favourite one ever. Everything was I used was super-local. The string came from the village shop. The wood for the supports was from the forest nearby. And I used some old washers I found behind the log pile for the ring things. (The instructions I used are here - I spent ages staring at them in disbelief, but if you persevere they do actually make sense)

Sadly, there's no really quick way to do this. Other than going into a shop in winter and buying one.

Then we had to get a bit MacGyver to get a few things ready for the party. First we fixed a leaky inflatable pool using only things we found at the supermarket. Then I got rivet happy and made some sun shades. Throw it all together in a forest your grandfather planted and instant fiesta.

Audrey Roger at Way East

2009-08-17T04:48:00.001-07:00

I live in Hackney Wick in London. Which, if I'm honest, is a bit of a dump. But the rent is super-cheap. And as a result, it has more artists per square meter than anywhere else in Europe. Which completely makes up for it. Anyway, I'm in a slightly rambling mood today so I'll cut to the chase and say that once a year, Hackney Wick is sort of transformed into a weekend-long art opening/street party for Hackney Wicked. And this year, I curated a show for it at Way East, which is a space my boyf ran regularly from our house last year, and revived for the festival. The show was a collection of large-scale screen prints and origami by the awesome Audrey Roger - you can see the details and the full art-wank I wrote on the Way East website. Anyway, it was a great weekend, the opening was rammed and I got to meet some incredible people. My pictures don't really do the work justice - it really is amazing. But if you like what you see, there are still some hand-printed geometrics available. They're 100cm x 100cm, £200 each, and are both editions of 8 with two artist proofs. The origami is a one-off, and is £250.

Cranes for Killian

2009-07-30T10:08:00.001-07:00

I was stumbling around on Dude Craft the other day and came across one of those rare, eye-misting causes that happen everywhere, all the time. But only pop up online like this every now and then. It was Cranes for Killian. Killian is a totally amazing teenager with cancer, who loves the 1000 cranes story (if you grew up anywhere near the Pacific Rim, you'll know it - if not, it's this). Anyway, the call went out for people to make paper cranes to send to him. So I got a posse together at work and we all learned how to make them together. Since then, the cranes have arrived and a pic of them has been added to Killian's flickr group. Which made Thalia (my friend at work) cry. Awww. If you want to make some too, you definitely should. It's easy. And nice. And the details are all here.

Art in the Attic

2009-07-20T02:36:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, the lovely folks at ArtQuest asked me to create a stall for their annual artist jumble sale. So I set up shop offering a free valuation and restoration service to hunt out the hidden art treasures lost among the jumble. Turns out, the room was full of priceless objet d'art - all they needed was a bit of restoration. During the day, I uncovered a pencil that was actually a Jim Lambie, a few unlikely Damian Hursts and a Chapman Bros work. A humble print from a charity shop turned out to be an unsigned Chris Ofili (the dung was missing - but I restored that with some fake poo I from Preposterous Presents). I also found a rare Jeff Koons, a Yayoi Kusama, a Bruce Nauman audio recording, a raft of Christos and a long lost Banksy. After I'd restored these incredible pieces, the proud owners got a certificate of authenticity with a valuation for insurance purposes. I got to meet some lovely folks, have some fun and illicit the odd knowing guffaw. And wear a pair of cardboard comedy glasses. All of which are undoubtably good things.

Juvenile, peurile and irresponsible

2009-07-20T01:51:00.000-07:00

But still quite funny though.

Spectacular failure

2009-07-13T01:58:00.000-07:00

We had an 11 year old down to visit over the weekend. So that meant trips to TK Maxx, expensive tickets to London's *star* attractions, teen movies and lot's of coke (a-cola). But nothing we did was as much fun for her, or us, as failing miserably at making a tyre swing out the back of our house. It was a total disaster. Getting the rope over the tree branch was a ridiculous process. Then once we'd hung the tyre, we realised it was so bald on one side that the metal reinforcing mesh was sticking out. Which punctured several fingers. Then started tearing the rope. Which, incindetally, began to stretch. The more we swung, the longer it got. So we ditched the tyre. Then tied a stick on instead. The rope got longer still. We tried another one. Even longer. Until parts of the rope were so dangerously thin we decided to get out the scissors and call it a day. It was brilliant though. The more it went wrong, the more fun it became. And all our fussing attracted neighbouring kids, who got involved too. And that earned us waves from the busloads of bemused people going past. So below is not a picture of a perfect tyre swing. But perhaps something even better.

Luscious locks

2009-07-06T03:53:00.000-07:00

I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again, but I'm a bit obsessed with Paks. Maybe it's the leave-in placenta conditioner (gross). Or the whole aisle of real human hair (also kinda gross). Or the fact that I have no idea how to actually use any of it. But I find it endlessly fascinating. Anyway, on my last trip, I nabbed a massive length of blond polyester for £2. A quick spruce later and we were both ready for a night out. I've had a couple of requests for hairy rope chains now too, so I imagine they'll be cropping up around these parts sometime soon...

(As a side note, these pics were taken in the small hours, which should simultaneously explain both the slightly crazed expression, and the bad focus (which I incidentally quite like)).

(As another side note, I'm not actually a caner - ignore the above).

Plastic penises at the ready

2009-07-06T03:31:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had the dubious honour of putting together 7 outfits for a clubnight. With zero money. The afternoon before. Eek. Anyway, the theme for the night was 'feminity, so I thew together a last minute hen-night for the occasion. The end result wasn't big, and it wasn't clever. But it was funny, and cheap (£7 each, yessss). I tell you what though, hen-night shopping is not for the faint hearted. I spent a good half-hour sifting through an elaborate array of penis-shaped tat, until settling on glittery penis deely-boppers (and heart-shaped ones for the more demure), penis balloons and a penis-whistle for a bit of piece of flair. Then scoured the market for lays, L-plates, klaxons, fake nails and net curtains to complete the...look. I must admit, dressing in a pack is actually loads of fun (go Crips!). But perhaps more fun was when the outfits disintegrated and the deely boppers started circulating around the party. They even ended up on the bar-staff at one point. Hooray!

Making time and spending time.

2009-06-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

I don't know what was in the air in 1979, but this is the year that nearly everyone I know is turning 30. That means good parties, yes. But it also means the birthday presents have to be unusually good too (translation: unusually expensive). But in the midst of this gift-giving orgy, a dear friend in New Zealand who I've known for nearly 20 years had his big 3-0. And suddenly, buying him 'stuff' seemed a bit glib and meaningless. So instead, I'm giving him my time. Every week of his 30th year, I'm going to write him a letter. Because each letter will be one of a series of 52, I've block-printed the letterheads, then each one can be individually numbered as we count through the year. It's only early days, but so far it's been a really relaxing ritual to get into. A proper Sunday afternoon thing. The process could, however, turn me into a real grandpa who gets impatient when people don't write 'thank-you' slips at Christmas. You have been warned.

And this was 1 of 52. The birthday card. But my carefully crafted lino cut was a bit of a disaster (I didn't mirror it before I cut it out), so I had to improvise. Which, sadly, turned out a bit emo. But it's the thought that counts. Right?

The walls have eyes

2009-06-25T04:47:00.000-07:00

My friend Nick gave me a completely kick-ass present for my birthday this year: a sticker sheet of cartoon eyes and mouths. Immediately I hundred different plans of things I wanted to stick them on. But a month later, they were on a dangerous trajectory to the bottom of the 'to-do' pile. So when the sun came out on Saturday, me and the boyf spent a slightly hungover afternoon giving life Hackney Wick's nooks and crannies. By definition, this was good, wholesome fun. Which is always nice. And now I've got a little army of faces cheering me on when I walk to the station. We did LOADS of them, but here are a few of my favourites.

Here comes the pain

2009-06-11T01:46:00.000-07:00

Today my friend Beth sent and URGENT email. She's starting a Roller Derby team and needed her roller alias. Fast. Her teammate came up with 'Thigh Voltage'. Which sets the bar pretty high. But the challenge dialed up to 11 when I found out the name can't already be registered on the official Rollergirl Master Roster. Which meant High Roller (one of my favourites) was automatically disqualified. I had no choice but to press pause on my actual work and get thinking. Here were my top 5...

1. Skateastrophie
2. Betty Rage
3. HoStopper
4. Wheeler Sheila
5. B.A. BRAracus

To costumes practically design themselves. Custom knee pads, mmmmm.

Nokia 410093 charger?!!?!?!!?!!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

2009-06-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

There's not much to say here, so I'll try to keep this short. BUT, the topic of the day is those emails taht come around about once a week at work. The ones that say 'Hi everyone!!! Sorry for the all staffer but does anyone have a [brand] [phone model] charger pse:)? xxxxx'. Whenever I read those, I can't help but put on an annoying whiney voice in my head. And neither can you. Admit it! So when a charger mysteriously landed on my desk today, I didn't look that gift horse in the mouth. No. I coiled it up, then gathered up all the agency's other stray chargers and put them in a nice box. So everyone can share (which is nice), and nobody gets charger spam anymore (which is even better).

Bearcraft Part IV: Edit

2009-05-22T05:15:00.003-07:00

Again, a bit of a half-assed post because there's not loads to show here. Especially since the pic was shot on my slightly crappy phone. But we're slowly getting through the editing. Which has taught me A LOT about things like 'flopping' and 'prerolls'. And the importance of considering shot continuity while you're filming. Oops. Sean, who's been dealing with our complete lack of technical knowledge, has been a total star. But I'm definitely understanding now why most music videos are just a montages of people singing to camera in a few different places. The next coupel of weeks are definitely going to be a challenge. More results soon.

Bearcraft Part III: Shooting!

2009-05-22T05:15:00.001-07:00

I wasn't really sure how to label this one. I started wanting to file it under 'stuff', but the shoot turned out to be a really good laugh that brought loads of different people together. So if nothing else, it ended up feeling more like a project that made 'community' instead. So I've pushed the boat out and tagged it as both. That aside, the shoot was brilliant. I slipped into the director role, which was really fun. And despite not knowing what we were doing technically, we managed to keep the phrase 'that'll be sorted out in post' to a minimum. But after 19 hours, I think we've got everything we need. So if everything goes to plan, it should be finished and on MTV in a few weeks. Exciting!

One man's trash is another man's, erm, trash.

2009-05-22T02:13:00.000-07:00

Wandering home through central London the other night, I stumbled (literally) across one of those giant rolls of industrial cling film. So, naturally, I picked it up. And in homage to Shane Waltener (who I have a massive friend-crush on), we set to work making a cling-film web across the footpath. The idea could have been a good one. But to be honest, the end result was completely terrible. Still, some of the pics looked nice. So here they are.

The way to a man's heart

2009-05-13T09:51:00.001-07:00

It was my birthday on Friday. But after the cleaning up the carnage from our last party fiasco I was up for something a bit quieter. And not at my house. So we made a little nice-food, nice-drink, nice-people bubble for ourselves in the park. I have to say, I was a fan of picnics before. But after this one, I'm a complete card-carrying evangelist. And already scheming on how to make a bigger and better one for summer. Watch this space.

Bearcraft Part II (and a bit) - test shots

2009-05-13T08:20:00.004-07:00

We've finished up the props so me and Ben had a go at some test shots in the studio. Not much of a post, but it's looking good so I thought I'd put it up anyway.

The Egg Burglar

2009-05-13T08:20:00.003-07:00

I've got a secret obsession with Eglus. So when my pal at work, Al, told me he's got one at his place I grilled him about it for days. Seriously. After a week or so, my incessant badgering must have spilled over into his home life because one morning a fresh egg appeared on my desk. Al's little son Cameron, had carefully wrapped it up to give to me. Awwww. Actually, it didn't taste that great. But the thought was nice. So I made him a mask to wear when he was out collecting eggs. By all accounts, he totally loved it. And he made Al read the card out to him about 20 times. Result!

Bearcraft Part II: Props

2009-05-13T08:20:00.001-07:00

To stop our untiring procrastination on the Bearcraft video, we've set a shoot date for the first May Bank Holiday. Which has miraculously made us spring into action. So we've all been getting busy in the studio making props and sets. Jess, an illustrator and all-round craft magician is styling a bunch of masks and scenery. Ben, graphic novelist and fountain of eternal niceness has been doing the same. Dicky's been working up a giant logo. And I've been reviving my recyclable Christmas tree idea and labouring away on a set of cloud light-boxes. I've also forayed into styling and put together Dicky's outfit for the shoot. All we need now is someone with actual music video experience and we'll be all set.

Porn-paper

2009-05-13T08:17:00.003-07:00

About a year ago, I took a trip to Soho Book Stores to buy some B-grade pornos for a bunch of collages I was working on. I liked them, but without exception, everyone else thought they were extremely, erm, ill-advised. So they won't be appearing here. But it made me sad to see the '40 Sluts Over 40' gathering dust on the shelf, so I got snipping for a friend's 30th wrapping paper. This is Christie. She skipped the 'Convincing Expressions and Poses' module at porn school. For which I will be eternally grateful.

Bearcraft video PART I: The idea.

2009-05-13T08:16:00.001-07:00

After playing all over the place with Scritti Politi last year, my amazing friend Dicky has started up a band of his very own called Bearcraft. He's having a single released at the start of June, so four of us have been getting together to collaborate on the video. It's been a really fun process so far. And after a night goading Dicky to dance around in fairy lights, we've settled on a kind of surreal party idea. All shot in the dark. I've put together a pretty rough animatic of what will happen. If the drawings don't really makes sense, don't worry. The final product will reveal all...hopefully.

Pop up pub

2009-04-24T02:32:00.001-07:00

My friend at work Hanisha (she's brilliant) have been conspiring lately on how to make our agency a bit more lively. Or, to be more precise, a bit more drunk. So we've been campaigning to create 'The Pad and Marker' - the work pop-up pub. Fingers crossed it becomes a reality. But in the mean time, here's the presentation I put together so we could prise some cash out of the powers that be.

Intro.

The current situation.

What would help. Basically, booze.

What we'd really like to do: Pop up pub!

High roller

2009-04-21T10:22:00.000-07:00

We've been doing a bit of work for Rolls Royce lately. So after getting accustomed to the wonders of the Rolls 'magic carpet ride', being saddled with a Ford Focus when we hired a car for a roadie in Wales was a bit of a come down.

Luckily, we'd packed some "stretchy and sticky" fake poo (don't ask) so we fashioned our own bespoke hood ornament in tribute. Which actually remained en-hood for quite a while. Before flying off somewhere between Aberystwyth and Pontrhydygroes. Or something.

For the record, I'm not hating on Ford. Our trusty A-Ber served us well. But a 8 gears, intelligent suspension, a hand-matched leather interior and a chauffeur would have been nice.

Wig PAAAAAAAAtay

2009-04-06T09:28:00.000-07:00

I love Paks. It's amazing. But I do find a whole shop full of things I have no idea how to use a bit intimidating. So to legitimise a shopping trip there we had a wig party. I manned the custom built salon as W'Yves St Laurent and transformed our guests into their wig uber-selves. Plus, thanks to my new friends at Paks (and Wig World in Finsbury Park - they're so fantastic) I learned how to do weaves for real. Plus if you hang out there long enough, you can catch the guys who run the shop fool around with the wigs. Believe me, seeing an old, bald Pakistani man in a blond bob is every bit as funny as it sounds. Anyway, it turned out to be one of those amazing nights where loads of people met loads of people, the dancing got mental and a good time was had by all. Here's the invite - which is actually be best photoshop work I've done in my life. (The link worked in the email - it went to here).

And selection of W'Yves' creations.

Plus other general wig shenanigans.

Fun with traffic

2009-03-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

I enlisted the help of my good friend Peter to put together a video for Queensland Tourism's 'Best Job in the World' this weekend. Which was actually really fun. I wanted it to stand out a little from the 23 days worth (seriously) of pleading clips already on the site, so we made this! It didn't win. But I'm not bitter or anything. I just think it's wrong, negligent and probably corrupt. Only kidding. But not really.

I know it's corny BUT...

2009-02-26T02:12:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes, I know. Valentines Day is a humiliating corporate sham. But people say that about haloween too. And that rocks. So I've decided to be a bit more open minded about el valentino. Here's what I did for my beloved this year. Awwww.

[OK, I know it's been ages but I'm working on getting these pics up. And I haven't figured ou thow to take the post down without deleting it. Bear with me!]

Let it snow!

2009-02-17T04:23:00.000-08:00

Thanks to the fa-reezing coldness in London lately, I was able to fulfill a lifelong dream of getting snowed in and not being able to go to work. It was amazing. But where I'm from, I'd usually be lounging on the beach at this time of year. So in tribute, I appropriated our rubbish bin and used it to make snow castles. My dream was a snow-castle empire as far as the eye could see. But it got dark. Damn!

Earlier in the day the snow covered bollards were perfect for a bit of drive-by snowman making too. The learning: when it snows, carry a carrot at all times.

Then there were those big windows of opportunity between (almost) non-existent trains. He even had a copy of Metro under one arm. Awww.

Doris Salcedo, I salute you. Kinda.

2009-02-17T03:33:00.000-08:00

Oprah says: when God serves you lemons, make lemonade. Or in this case, when God serves you structural subsidence, make....dioramas. Yes, the ever-widening cracks in our walls have been beckoning me by looking more and more like Doris Salcedo's Shibboleth. As an installation, I personally wasn't convinced. But the idea of a piece of art 'claiming 15 victims' pretty much makes it one of my favourite works EVER. Thanks Doris. And thanks Modelzone for letting me discover a new passion for tiny little hand-painted people.

Did I mention I love Modelzone?

Bridget Riley vs my shoes

2009-01-18T13:38:00.000-08:00

A few weeks back I was helping my friend, the amazing Audrey Roger screenprint up some A0-sized posters. I think geometry must be contagious because afterwards, I couldn't stop wondering what it'd be like to spruce up our office at home with a new floor. 275m of masking tape and two cans of floor paint later, this was born. A bit of an indulgence of my love of most things black and white. And of all things Jim Lamby. Though now I've finished, I've started seeing black and white zig-zags everywhere. Like the Alex Turvey installation in the window at at dare digital, and this pop-up store in LA. It's on the floor there too but you can't see it in the pics. Koyanasquatsi in action.

The Sustainable Christmas Tree Dilemma

2008-12-31T05:04:00.000-08:00

It's hard finding a good tree. And by that I mean 'good'. As well as nice. I'm not really a fan of plastic ones. And everything after that seems a bit naff and/or sort of soulless. So I turned my hand to one instead. Which seems much better. You can bung your old fairy lights inside. Then when you're done, roll it up or recycle it. Nice.

Xmas 2009

2008-12-31T04:41:00.000-08:00

After years of wrapping presents more and more extravagantly, my family have sort of started to expect paper masterworks each Christmas. But this year was basically just about me trying to use up the mound of coloured paper I seem to have amassed. At first I wanted sickeningly clashy colour combinations. But that's strangely more difficult than it sounds. Pink, brown and green actually look alright together. Anyway, what with the faux-reptile skin paper used in December birthdays, they turned out quite tasteful. Damn! Still, my Dad liked them. Awww.